Wedding in Hawaii-Fiasco!

Wedding in Hawaii-Fiasco!
Originally uploaded by triciawang.

I accompanied my grandmother to her cousin's daughter's wedding. We are there as guests. I have never met any of these relatives before. The bride has a wedding coordinator, 3 bridesmaids, 1 set of very salubrious parents-who she still lives with (she's 46 yrs old) .

So here's the list of things I have been asked to do so far:
1.) cut her arm-pit hair (i said no to this one)
2.) make seating arrangements for 21 tables, 150 guests.
3.) create Excel spreadsheet of table check in, manually sort data
4.) be her make-up assistant from 9am to 11pm.
5.) seat table guests for 6pm dinner
6.) get bride into dress and button 60 buttons.
7.) take care of wedding workers between 10am and 2pm
8.) answer her cellphone all day
9.) drive people to church
10.) take care of food deliveries
11.) clean up after make-up artists
12.) be available at anytime

This is what I have seen so far:
1.) bride yelling at me for not cutting her arm-pit hair (she's 46 yrs old and still has very hairy armpits and did not do a clean shave the first time - come on!)
2.) father can't find bowtie for photography shoot at 12:30pm, everyone has a makeup melt down, makes the tuxedo company drive overto deliver the emergency bowtie
3.) mother screaming at my grandmother for not being more helpful (my grandmother just had foot surgery, her foot is swollen)
4.) bride's parents calling each other stupid in front of me
5.) daughter yells at her mother for not paying enough attention to her